Biyernes, Oktubre 7, 2011

Cause Im Emotera..Churva part 2

I just got home from work and its raining outside, a HEAVY rain. Once again floods ruin the streets of Bajada and r'castillo which is unfortunately my way going home. Thank God I'd brought my slippers with me and saved my shoes from the water.tsk2x


Writing has become part of my life already. It is my one diversion or shall I say, a sweet escape from something Ive been avoiding for how many months now. 0_0 words i can't express out of my mouth, is being express through writing.. well, as what I'm saying heavy rain was outside and it really pours! well basically it really pours happiness on the earth as it waters those plants, soil, trees and whatever or whoever but the aftermath especially in Davao it floods. hmp... this night the rain does pour something for me - and its sadness. A raindrop is equivalent to a teardrop - YES im crying now.. CRYING TO SOMEONE WHO IS NOT WORTH MY TEARS! sumasabay yata ang ulan sa nararamdaman ko. LOL perfect timing or wrong timing?? that sucks! Parang I wanna try going out and cry in the rain, since I haven't tried that before :) they said its a great relief daw after weh! so why am I crying? lets say, i was really trying to kill a feeling that happened how many months ago and now it brings to life again and become more worst!! Ive been on the processed of possibly deleting inch by inch of memory from someone now, and you know parang kanina lang something happened and it was all coming back again! pwede ba tantanan mo na ako?? I really want to get out of that feeling na since I think Ive been prisoner of it for a long time already. but as for me kasi matagal ako makalimot- i think it would run a year pa before anything would be back to normal again leche! so loonngg, as of now Ive still been hiding something inside and that would conclude that im not fully okay! OKAY???


well, not a best phrase for me!(who wants it in the first place?) on anything that suggest sadness and hurtfulness, i don't like it, cause you know most Filipinos are emotional, emotera -and I'm included on that clan LOL.. saludo ako kung hindi ka talaga masasaktan sa totoo! As you will know the real thing, it could become the saddest part of your life- depending how you see the situation anyway. To those person who don't want to hurt someone, they engage themselves in lies. " the less you don't know the better" but you know walang sekreto inde nabubuko e. For me better that they tell you nalang directly so that isahang sakit nalang! di yung putol2x na pain, cause its like no ending.. a while ago i discovered something that once again made me feel a total wrack! my God Gulles! don't be lured by those lines. shit! i never thought to myself that the movie " No Other Woman" can be related to me somehow. That the issue i guess is not about the distance but rather involving other woman..urghh..Overwhelmed by your honesty that stinks! Yes, Ive been angry today as well as being sad because of the irrational reason.. and ive felt that I was not treated really nice by a bastard- and knowing the truth made me feel so down..caught up myself talking to the moon asking what have I done?? i really don't deserve this!..... and YOU! your a total BURDEN!


Ive been always praying since then that God will heal me- heal me inside. Taking slowly and in time it will really heal.. fully heal pls Lord. :( Part of my prayer is to forgive those persons who hurt me in the past, who never learned to understand my worth! who think that Im just a crap, easily dump me with insensitive feelings. I never wanted to be like this but I can't blame myself not to be angry or become bitter to someone. To be honest i don't want to engage in resentment. I just think to myself that I'm resilient (my favorite word), that I have the guts to be able to bounce back after a fall - yes I do and I will. Well, I just hope that someday i may able find that light- light that may able to direct me in the right path with no more hidden pain inside and just live life the way i really want it- with Happiness . . . :)


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