Since high school until college bullying was part of my life already, it was blitzkrieg. A day wouldn't be complete for my classmates if they haven't said anything that is hurtful for me. Four years in high school and four years in college who wouldn't GET USED TO IT? everyday of your school life you felt so much inferiority, lost confidence and your tormentors?? they become more superior! The famous bully in my high school is being named and called "paklay" LOL I really can't remember where did that idea came from and I have no plans of remembering it either. All I know , but I'm not sure is that "paklay" is a vegetable and can be eaten lol. Another bully is being called "Judy Ann", cause way back in high school I was really a fat girl and my face was so sooo round , being similar to Judy Ann Santos face!
Lets go to college. I was sad when I was transferred to other section in sophomore year. I know I will missed my BSN-1D family since my bestfriend was in there :( I was transferred to a section where most of my classmates are intelligent, honor students, not to mention it was a FIRST SECTION but, one thing negative- they are FEROCIOUS. Anyways, the famous bully of them all was being called "gul-gul". Gul- which happens to be the first syllable of my last name Gulles was "creatively" made by my classmate who is now living in New York. Maybe it was not a "real" bully for them since it was part of my name though but, the way they speak it, and call me that way made me hurt somehow. Another thing, I know that I don't have a knack in speaking English- i stutter as well as I accidentally invent words that turns out to be funny, and my grammar is not that excellent. With that flaws I had, they grab a chance to make it a subject for bullishness. Well as I said, I was already used to it, when they bullied me I actually don't fight back, I usually ignore them or just plasticly smile and let it pass- cause I don't want argument, and even if I argued with them, I'll never win. To the fact that never did they know that those words coming out from their mouth are already cruel.
Oftentimes it really hurts me. Being bullied is an emotional torture, because not only does it damage your confidence and self esteem but even left you to wonder how these persons could hurt you so badly. To think, you never did anything on them , you are just quietly sitting on the corner but they make fun of you and become their laughing stock-an object of humiliating ridicule. It even came to a point that I cut friends loose to discern who's really true to me or not- does not hurt me or bully me.
All those things happened when I'm still at school- PAST IS PAST, today I'm working and I can say there is a real different environment compare before. In here I'm not bullied but I'm the one who bullies haha just kidding. :) In here I can be on my own , even with my flaws they don't care about it and Ive met new friends who is genuinely kind and true. Today, i have much self confidence, strength and joy :) Thanks Lord for making me feel special always and giving me friends who are kind and true to me :)
Love and Light -- Live Life to the Fullest! ♥♥